Cold Fire

                            By:

                         Fox Cutter

    Chapter 5

Leaning up against the door frame leading into the medical
bay, I watched silently as Oria carefully read through his
book.

His... it sounded so strange to think of her in my body, or
as anything else but a her. But here, when the proof was
right before my eyes, it was very hard to deny it.

Though he was still quite definitely Oriana. The way he was
sitting on the bed, hunched over and quietly reading, moving
his fingers over the lines of print inside of the leather
binding was very typical of her.

The book was the Book of Thryn. I had asked for it to be
brought over the night before. I knew that he was going to
need it at some point. At the least, just to look for
comfort, and maybe some guidance from it.

Chewing my lip slightly, I crossed my arms, pressing them
down against my breasts. Imagine, me with breasts! I've been
accused of being a girl before, but this was the first time
that I ever actually was.

Frankly, I was amazed at how well I had been ignoring all of
the changes. There were some basic things, most of them in
the bathroom, as well as adjusting to wearing a bra. It was
slightly uncomfortable, but I was very quickly forgetting
about it.

The rest I had put off, I wasn't ready to go exploring yet.
Though I was going to have to face it soon. Fur needs a lot
of maintenance, and I was going to have to bathe before too
long. Maybe before I met with Rachel, maybe not, I wasn't
sure.

Taking a step forward, I rapped my knuckles on the door
frame. "Is it safe to come in yet?"

Oria looked up from the book, his eyes red behind the
glasses. His expressions shifted around, finally settling
down into a neutral look. Jadith looked up from her own
book, then stood up from the corner she had been sitting in
and walked over to me.

Oria nodded, closing the book and setting it on the bed next
to him.

I walked over to the bed, dropping myself in the chair next
to it, pausing only a second to slip my tail though the hole
in the back. Jadith turned in mid-stride and retrieved her
chair, pulling it over to the other side of the bed and
sitting down.

"Is the book helping you any?" I asked.

He shook his head very slightly. "No, I can't find any
comfort in its words."

"I don't think this is something that could really be
foreseen."

He nodded, just as imperceptibly as before. "You seem to be
taking it far better than I am."

"Frankly, I'm just ignoring it."

"Sounds just like you," he said with a forced laugh.

I reached out, grabbing his hand in my paw. "Ken will find
out how to undo this. It's the kind of magic he was trained
for. This is his job."

Oria pulled his hand away, hiding both under the bed sheets.
"I don't know how long I can take this."

I nodded, agreeing silently.

"A few days, maybe a week." he said in a soft whisper,
shaking slightly.

I rubbed my shoulder softly with a paw. "I don't know how
long I'll last. It really hasn't hit me yet."

"Lucky you," he sighed.

The conversation concluded there. I didn't know what else I
could say to him and he wasn't in any condition to start
talking. Jadith went back to her book, being very obvious
about staying out of the conversation, or at the least lack
of it.

Eventually I finally gave up trying to say anything that
would help. "You up to a short trip?"

"Where?" he asked, looking up at me.

"Back to the _Phoenix_. Ken is there, so being with him will
help him to get his claws into the spell." I sighed softly,
"And we may be off to fetch something to get us back down
onto the base."

Jadith perked up now, leaning forward in her chair.

He shook his head. "I don't know."

"We'll be with friends, that will help."

He sighed. "Fox..."

"Oria, please." I was trying my best not to beg.

He paused, then let out a long sigh. "You're going to run
your errand with or without me aren't you?"

I nodded.

With an 'I can't believe I'm doing this look,' he sighed
again. "Then I suppose you and I should stay together if Ken
is to have any hope of finding a way to remove this spell
before we go crazy."

I smiled. "Thanks."

"No, not yet," he said, laying back down.

Yes, not yet for either of us. I really didn't know what to
make of his decision to return to the ship with me. It
seemed like it was a bit too easy a choice for her. I didn't
know what would happen; she was putting up a strong front,
but she really was worried.

It was going to be a very hard time for both of us until Ken
found a way to switch us back.

* * *

Ten hours later I had finally faced up to the fact that I
looked horrible. Being in bed for fours days hadn't help
much and the lack of care I had provided for myself after
that hadn't done anything but make it worse.

So, with my fur beginning to mat in a few spots, I finally
broke down and took a quick shower. It was an in-and-out
type thing, just long enough to really wash my fur so as to
be presentable.

And even with all the complications of the changed bodies, I
found that I had missed doing it. I remembered from back
when Oria had managed to transform me, now almost a year
ago. There's just something about washing your own fur
that's extremely relaxing.

Either way though, it got my mind working over what I was
planning to do. I was going to need Page's help, that was a
given. She was the only person who could find out exactly
where the ship we would need was located and which one to
take.

I would also need her to rework its systems enough so that
it could be flown safely.

To be honest, the whole idea was absolutely insane, stupid
and ludicrous! But it seemed to be our only way to get back
down to the base and stop Grasion before he started
demanding a ship for the lives of the last few hostages.

I just hoped it would be worth it.

After finishing with the fur dryer, I walked back into
Oria's room on the _Phoenix_. We had done some talking on
the trip over and decided that for now it would be best to
switch rooms. They were already set up for our different
forms and it was far easier than trying to move everything
we needed from one room to the other.

On one of the walls of her room, next to the built-in
dresser, was a half-length mirror. I stopped in front of it,
looking at my reflection... looking at Oriana's reflection,
looking back at me.

I felt myself blush with embarrassment, then I started to
laugh. Walking over to the mirror, with a slight grin on my
muzzle, I pressed a paw against the glass and looked into my
reflection's eyes.

Eyes that were almost a colorless shade of ice blue!

I jumped back from the mirror, finding myself enveloped in
darkness. Pure black darkness, blacker than night, blacker
than even space, formed an endless veil over my perception,
which was, somehow, shifting and changing around me,
becoming something else, but still the same darkness.

There was no sound in the darkness as well as no light. Nor
was there anything to smell, or feel, or even taste. It was
as if my mind had been cut off from every sense in my body.

I wanted to fight, or at least scream, but nothing came of
the struggle. All I could feel was a deep crushing of my
ribs, growing worse with each passing second until I thought
I couldn't take it anymore.

Then, just as suddenly, it was over. I was standing once
more, looking at myself in the mirror. Except that it *was*
myself, my real reflection. I also was no longer on the
ship, but standing in my own room back on Prid.

Standing, looking over my real shoulder as I was digging
through my dresser.

A flashback! I was having a flashback. I wasn't sure to when
though, the room looked wrong in many ways. There seemed to
be more stuff in it than I ever remembered having, as well
as a much larger bed.

My attention was drawn away from that as my real self looked
up from what he was doing, his eyes seeming to lock with
mine in his reflection. The eyes, though, they were that
same shade of blue, almost clear in color.

He turned, his eyes still locking on where I was mentally
located. His stare was unnerving, it felt like he was
looking right into my soul, then through it, as if I was
nothing but a ghost.

"Fox," he said, "I know you're here, I remember this."

I took a step back, trying to say something, but unable to
make a sound.

The other version of me licked his lips. "Listen, you are
flashing forward a few months in time. We still don't know
why. It's important, though, you need to know this," he
paused, I could see he was thinking.

"There's a hole in your mind," he finally said.

Words to get my attention! 'What hole?' I thought, 'where?'

The other me must have remember the questions. "Ken will
know about it. You have to ask his help. He may not be
willing, but he'll give it."

Why couldn't I just tell myself!

He sighed, "Because when I was on your side I didn't. It
will make some kind of sense soon. Just think over your past
adventures, before you were exiled. Look for a place where
your memories don't match with what you remember
remembering."

The darkness came back again, wrapping around me just as
tightly as before, but not for nearly as long. It only
lasted for an instant and I was back again, standing in
front of the mirror, looking into Oria's green eyes.

Taking a few large steps back, I stumbled into the bed,
flopping down on it, holding my head in my paws. How could I
have a flashback in Oria's body? It was an inherent part of
being a natural.

No, it was _caused_ by being a natural. If my memories were
moved perfectly, down to almost a genetic level, there was
still that potential for it to happen.

But why forward in time though, and how was that even
possible? How could I have memories to flashback to of
events that hadn't even occurred yet?

My head was starting to spin from all this. More questions
that I didn't have time to find answers to. Rachel was going
to be here soon and meeting her took precedence. I would
have to worry about all of this later, once we were
underway.

-----

This story is (c) 1998 by Fox Cutter, hardcopy reprints
limited to one a person, all other rights reserved. This
story may not be distributed for a fee except by permission
of the author, and this copyright notice may not be removed.