A Fox in the Works
                       Disassociation

                             By

                         Fox Cutter

03/10/2000:

I stood in front of the ceiling-to-floor window, looking out
at the warm sunlight as it lit the well-tended landscape on
the other side. My reflection in the glass was looking back
at me, a calm look on her face.

I took the opportunity to pick over my clothing, and to
adjust my top. I had dressed nicer than I normally did,
starting with a long skirt that brushed over my feet. I had
borrowed it from Oria that morning. I had on a tan blouse
over that with a little bit of makeup and some jewelry.
Including earrings and a band about half-way down my tail.

It was easy to say that I looked nice, and I would even go
so far as to call myself pretty; Oriana did. I felt good as
well, better than I had in quite a while. Of course, I felt
better almost every day, and it was getting to the point
that it was starting to feel real.

"Fox?" a now familiar voice called from behind my shoulder.

I turned around and saw Doctor Starker waiting for me on the
other side of the room, standing behind the receptionist.
The large bear stood about six feet tall and had brown fur,
which had started to streak gray with age. He wore a pair of
glasses that had no arms, they just perched on the top of
his long and slightly narrow muzzle.

"Doctor," I said as I walked over to him, feeling myself
sway as I moved. He smiled a bit as he saw me, and clasped
his paws behind his back.

"You are more dressed up than usual," he said as I neared
him. "The skirt suits you," he added a moment later.

"Thank you," I told him as I walked past him into his
office. He followed after me, closing the door behind us.

"So why have you decided to dress up?" he asked me as I
settled down into the high-backed chair next to the windows.
I sank into the deep padding as it formed around me, hugging
my back, legs and tail.

I gave the bear a smile as he sat down behind his simple
desk. He returned the smile as he rolled up the cuffs of his
long sleeved shirt and crossed his legs. Unlike most ursines
he was fairly trim and kept himself in good shape.

"It's for this afternoon," I said as I ran my paws over the
skirt to smooth the wrinkles in the fabric.

He nodded. "Something special?" he asked.

"A little bit, I admit, but it's nothing important," I said.
I was starting to feel more comfortable around the man. My
initial hostility to him had faded into the background over
the last two weeks.

The bear nodded again, and picked up a notepad from his
desk. "Did you have a good time while you were..." he paused
as he searched for a word.

"An animal?" I suggested. I had spent the three days before
as a full lioness again. He gave me a small nod in
confirmation. "It went fairly well; Rhea and I went to the
lake on the second day, and dragged Ravindar along. He still
hasn't quite gotten the hang of walking on all fours, let
alone running," I said, laughing softly.

Starker turned his head to the side, glancing at his office
door. Ravindar was waiting on the other side, ever faithful
to his job. "It's hard to imagine your bodyguard moving with
anything less than fluidity," he commented.

I laughed and nodded my head. "Well he did end up in the
lake at one point."

He chuckled and plucked his glasses off his nose, taking a
moment to clean them on his shirt. "I would like to try this
some day; being an animal for a short time sounds
appealing."

"Well you're not really an animal, you just have the shape
of one. You'd still be yourself."

He nodded again as he replaced his glasses. "So you are
feeling better?"

"Better than I was before. I'm still pulling things
together. I still wish I could control my powers, but that
hasn't come any further than my paws," I said, flexing my
fingers.

The bear nodded his head and leaned forward slightly as he
opened his pen. As soon as that happened I clamped down on
what little rapport we had. It was now time to get down to
business, and time to control myself.

"Why do you think you can't control them?" he asked.

I sighed and ran a paw through my long hair as I twitched my
tail. "I can't control them because I don't know how to
control them. I seem to have real trouble getting things
into place. I force it, I push it, but my power only can go
so far, and I just can't make it go far enough."

"You say you cannot control your powers, but you also said
that you once had an artifact that allowed you to use it to
became human. If you could use it to shift then, why can't
you use it now?"

"It was all in my head," I said as I tried to keep my focus
on him, my ears swiveling back. "I didn't have control of my
powers, or even know I had them. My mind may have been doing
the work for me, but I don't know how it happened."

The doctor nodded his head as he made a few notes on his
pad. "I see, but it seems to me that if you could change
your form before, you should be able to change it now."

I gave him a small smile. "Sadly things don't actually work
that way in the real world. That was partly a placebo
effect. It used to work that way, so it continued to work
that way even after the spells was broken."

"The spell was broken? So it only served as a key for you,
but it no longer worked as it was originally created to?" he
asked.

I nodded my head.

"And when you learned of this, it stopped working?"

I shook my head and ran my paw over my hair, my ears
flicking back as I said: "No, it continued to work until it
was destroyed." I wondered why he asked that; he knew all of
this already.

"So, even though you knew that it was an empty symbol it
still worked for you, because you wanted it to work?" he
asked.

"Something like that," I replied and crossed my arms over my
chest.

"I understand," he said as he made a few more notes on his
pad. He started to say something else, but then seemed to
think better of it. Instead he said: "You know, Fox, I find
you interesting. You come to me of your own will, but you
are sometimes hostile to me. I can see when you start to
close up, when you no longer want to talk about something.
It makes it difficult to help you."

I gave him a short nod. "You're not the first person to
notice that," I told him.

He chuckled and made a few more notes. "I suppose it's a way
that you defend yourself."

"It's about the only way I can defend myself," I muttered.

Of course Doctor Starker heard me. He may have been in his
fifties, but his hearing was working just fine. "Why do you
say that?" he asked.

"Because if I could defend myself better, I could have
stopped what happened," I said, pulling my arms a bit
tighter around my body.

He nodded his head and gave me a critical look over the top
of his glasses. "If you believe that your bodyguard is not
adequate protection in the future, then perhaps you should
learn how to protect yourself?" he suggested.

I tilted my head to one side, looking at him with a touch of
surprise. "Well, I do know how to use a sword, and I have a
good aim," I said, and paused for a moment as I thought
about what happened. "Of course none of that would have
helped me."

"That what would have?" he asked.

I let out a long sigh. "I need to learn how to fight. I mean
really fight, not this street brawling crap. I learned a
little Tae-Kwan-Do when I was growing up, but I don't
remember much of it. What I do remember really doesn't work
with this body," I said as I looked down at my paws.

"Then I suggest that you should learn proper hand-to-hand
fighting, and I might add, that you have a capable teacher
in my waiting room," he said with a small smile.

I shared his smile as I nodded my head. "Santhera would be a
better choice. She knows the body better than I do," I said.

He nodded his head and turned the page on his notebook.

I let out a sigh and turned my head to look out the window,
cupping my chin under my muzzle.

"Have you given any thought to what we discussed last time?"
he asked after a few minutes of silence had passed.

"About picking a female name?" I asked, still watching the
world on the other side of the glass.

"You have said this is the longest you have been a woman,
and it will stay that way until you learn how to use your
power. It will make the role easier to play," he told me.

I thought about that for a few moments, and then shook my
head. "I think about it the same way as I do about my eyes.
It's just something else I can use to throw people off." I
also felt that taking a female name after only a month felt
too much like I was burying myself in being female, just
like last time.

The bear chuckled. "You like keeping people off balance," he
observed.

"Yes. Too bad it doesn't work with you," I said with a smile
as I turned back to look at him.

Doctor Starker gave me a shrug, "I'm sorry. You hear a lot
in my line of work. After a while it takes a lot to shake
you."

I flicked my ears back and gave him a relaxed smile. "Let me
tell you about some of the things that I've seen, then," I
said, and then I told him about what happened on
Nata'razi'anra.

To his credit, it didn't shake him as much as it had
originally shaken me.

* * *

The auditorium was only half full, but that wasn't saying
all that much since it had a thousand seats in it. I sat a
few rows back, next to Oriana, as we watched the show. Sora
was up on the stage, along with the rest of the graduates in
her class of Hunters.

"How long is this going to go on?" I muttered as I shifted
myself in the narrow seat, my tail flicking up behind my
legs.

Jadith who was in the other seat next to mine, leaned nearer
to me and whispered: "It's almost over, Fox. What's got you
so jittery?"

I shifted again in my chair and reached out to touch Oria's
paw with mine. "Some things came up today with my shrink.
They kind of got to me. It will pass, but it left me a
little claustrophobic, even in here," I said, purring softly
as my wife laced her fingers with mine. She understood what
I was talking about as I had told her all about it years
ago.

The elf nodded her head and relaxed back in her seat. "It's
not as bad as my graduation, and at least the speeches are
shorter."

I nodded my head as the last speaker stood back from the
podium. Those of us in the audience stood up and started to
applaud, partly for what our friends had done, and partly
because the speeches were finally over.

Now that the presentation had finished we all started to
mingle together. I stretched out my legs and tail, working
out a kink that had started a few minutes after I had sat
down.

"You look nice, Fox," Jadith said as we walked to the center
of the aisle. "I'm glad that you're feeling better."

I smiled at my friend as I brushed my fingers through my
hair. "Better is relative, but I'm improving."

"She's improving a lot," Oria said as she placed a paw on my
shoulder. I slipped my arm around her waist and pulled her
close to my side.

"With your help," I added as I held onto her.

Jadith nodded her head as she reached out to touch my other
shoulder. "If you need anything from me, just ask. You know
I'm here for you."

"Thank you," I said, and meant it.

"Here comes Sora," Ravindar said from over my shoulder.

We all turned around to watch as the canine-like bat hurried
down the aisle. She was dressed in a formal dress that was
cut around her large wings, and a dark cloak that swirled
behind her as she moved.

"Congratulations," I said as she neared us.

A smile covered her long muzzle as she reached up, giving us
each a hug, one by one. "I'm glad you could be here," she
said as she pulled away from me.

"How does it feel?" Oria asked her as we started to move
towards the exit as a group.

Sora smiled, almost coming off the ground as she bounced
with each step. "It feels great! I feel like I'm finally
back where I was when Tranisken and I were bonded," she
said, adding a slight flap of her wings as she spoke.

"Do you have an assignment yet?" Jadith asked.

"No, but I'm sure you have something for me already," Sora
replied.

I felt Ravindar's presence near my back as a new voice
joined our conversation. "If Jadith doesn't have anything
for you, I do," Bastion said as he approached our group. The
short bird was walking towards us with Ren at his side.
Bastion was dressed in his usual flat brown suit, and Ren
was in a pair of slacks and a black shirt with a high collar
that mostly hid the scar on his neck.

"What brings you here?" I asked with honest curiosity,
motioning for Ravindar to stand back from me.

Bastion smiled at us, his beak flexing slightly. "I like to
attend these. It looks good for me," he said as he offered
me his wing-like hand. I shook it gently, once against
surprised by the strength he possessed.

"Always thinking about Politics," Oria said.

He chuckled, "Of course, that is my job. But I do have job
for Sora, if she would be interested in taking it?"

"Why are you asking me?" Sora asked.

Ren answered this time. "Well, between you, myself, Jadith
and Stew, you're the only one that is free to take jobs."

"That was much the same reason I have, and I know that we
work well together," Jadith said.

I looked between the three of them, and then back at
Bastion. The bird was Prid's representative in the
Consortium, and was my only real contact with Prid's
government. My involvement with the Consortium was too heavy
for anyone in the Interim Government to work directly with
me.

"So, what are you doing now, Ren?" Sora asked, moving closer
to the white-haired young man.

He smiled a bit and nodded towards Bastion. "I'm the liaison
between Prid and the Hunters."

"I didn't know you needed one," I said as I watched the
three of them move into a small group.

"It was my idea," Bastion said as he walked over to Oria and
me. "I felt that as the Hunters were not moving to the new
Capitol that it would be useful to have a connection to
them. Hunters are useful for what they can do, and Prid has
to look out for it's own interests now."

"That sounds like a good idea," I said as I looked at the
man. "Can I speak to you?"

He paused to look me over. "You are Fox... correct?"

I gave him a sheepish smile and nodded to him. "Yes I am, I
was wondering if you've been able to do anything about my
problem?"

He clicked his beak slightly and shook his head. "I'm
trying, but I'm sorry to say that your animal is a low
priority, and my influence is limited. There has been some
discussion on how to determine if a person is intelligent,
and how that applies, but it's not moving quickly."

"Work on it faster," Oria said.

He glanced at Oria and nodded his head. "I'm doing all that
I can. I assume that you are Fox's... wife?" he asked.

"We are married," she said.

"That's good," he said with a short bob of his head. "I saw
a note about that in your file, I just didn't know to whom."

Oria smiled and placed her paw on my shoulder. "You know
now."

He nodded a bit and brushed down the feathers of his crest.
"Well he... ah she, has good taste in women. You are
beautiful," he said with a smile.

My wife blushed slightly inside of her ears and smiled at
the colorful bird. I reached an arm around her and pulled
her against my side. "Yes, she is," I said and kissed her
forehead. She blushed even more, the heat radiating out from
her ears. She finally broke into a laugh, and turned back to
kiss me full on the lips.

I returned the kiss, holding her close to me for a few
moments before we broke free. "I love you," I whispered to
her as we pulled away.

"I love you too," she whispered in return.

Bastion clicked his beak and chuckled softly. "You two are
quite the couple," he said as we separated.

"We try," I said as I held my wife's paw.

He nodded again and looked back at out bodyguards. "And well
protected, I see. I knew Fox had protection, so I guess it
comes as no surprise that you have some as well."

"It's necessary, sadly," Oria said.

"Who is providing them, or are they your own employees?"

Santhera stepped forward, "We work for the 'Data and
Troubleshooting Services of Kenterra'."

"Elena," Bastion said with a knowing smile. "Sie is a
persistent vixen'taur. Some people worry that she has her
own agenda for Prid. If they knew sie was providing your
bodyguards, they would be even more leery of dealing
directly with you."

"We'll keep quiet about it," I said.

He nodded and glanced back at the three Hunters as they
talked with each other. "I don't have much free time in my
schedule today, so I must be going," he said, pulling a data
PADD from the inside his jacket. "If you could give this to
Sora once she is free?"

I took the PADD from him and tucked it under my arm. Unlike
my wife I wasn't in the habit of carrying a purse, but that
would probably change if I continued to stay female. "I can
do that," I told him.

"Very well, then I must be going, Fox," he said and offered
me his wing. I gave it a firm shake.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, though I didn't catch you
name," he said as he offered his wing to my wife.

"Oriana," she said as she gave him a gentle shake.

He smiled back at her. "Oriana," he repeated and gave her a
small smile as he bent down to kiss the back of her paw. He
then turned away from us and walked out of the room.

My wife smiled as she pulled closer to me. "I like him, he
seems like a nice man," she said.

"Yes, he is," I said.

* * *

Oriana and I walked, paw in paw, through the Great Market,
only half paying attention to the people that moved around
us. I liked being with her like that. It was just us, and no
one could intrude into our closed little world.

Our bodyguards were walking a few steps behind us, arm in
arm as they both preformed their duties to protect us, and
had a nice evening out together.

"Today has been the best day I've had in a while," I told my
wife as we crossed a short street.

She pulled herself a little bit closer to me, so close in
fact that our skirts fluttered around each other as we
walked. "I'm glad to hear that," she said.

I nodded and flicked my tail back to brush against hers,
which brought a light purr from her. She worked her tail
back around mine, brushing the tufts together.

If the last six weeks had taught me anything of any real
value, it was that being female had a lot more advantages
than I had first realized. That was even truer when I had
someone like Oria to show me the best ways to use it.

"So, what do you have planned for tonight?" she asked me.

I gave her a smile. "Nothing that fancy, I just thought that
we should take advantage of being dressed up and go out for
a nice dinner, just the two of us."

"That sounds nice," she said as she pulled her paw out of
mine and wrapped it around my waist. "What restaurant are we
going to?"

I chuckled softly as we continued on our walk. "I have
reservations for us at Hikaru's. Samantha was talking about
how good it was on her last date, and I thought it would be
something different."

Oria turned her head slightly to look at me. "Isn't that a
fish place?" she asked, looking a bit worried. I was
normally allergic to fish, and most other things that lived
in water.

One of the side effects of my shape shifting was that my
different forms had different biologies, and what I was
allergic to in one body I wasn't in another.

"Yes it is, love, and I'm looking forward to it. I've
already checked with Doctor Stall. I can eat it in this
form," I said with a purr. It was something I was looking
forward to. It had been years since I last had a good piece
of fish, and I had missed it.

"Now, isn't that on the other side of the market?" she asked
a moment later.

I smiled and nodded my head. "Yes it is, love, but I have
something I need to pick up before we go," I told her as we
turned a corner.

She ran her fingers over my back as I slid my arm around
her. "I also got a reservation for you two," I told our
bodyguards. "I figured we all could use a nice night."

"Thank you, Fox," Ravindar said.

I nodded again as we walked down the main street of the
Market. I was almost to my destination, and pleased to see
its sign a short distance away.

"Almost there," I told my wife as I picked up the pace. She
kept up with me easily, our bare feet padding along on the
stone road. I had finally gotten used to walking like that,
and my calluses had built up enough that I wasn't bothered
by it anymore.

In every respect I was now more a person of Oria's world
than my own.

I slowed down a bit as we neared the door to the shop. It
was a plain building, made out of brown bricks with small
windows in the front that stood empty. It was a well-kept
shop, but you had to really know about it to know what they
sold.

Pushing the door open, I motioned for Oria to go ahead of
me. I held the door open for Ravindar and Santhera, then
followed them inside.

The inside of the shop was bright and clean. There wasn't
much in the room, a few chairs and a shelf of books. A
counter was on the far side of room, with a swinging door
behind it.

"What is this place?" Oria asked.

"Something special," I said as I walked up to the counter.
About the time I reached it an older rabbit walked out of
the back room. His fur had once been a bright blue, but had
faded with age, wisps of gray lining the edges of his face
and his long ears. He was a heavy man, and wore a shirt that
was two sizes too small for his belly.

A smile grew on his short muzzle as he saw me. "Hello, Fox,"
he said as he bent down to fish around under the counter.

"Hello, Lane," I told him. "Everything ready?"

He smiled a bit wider and nodded his head. "I wouldn't have
called you if it wasn't," he said as he pulled a small metal
box out from under the counter. It was battered and dented,
with one corner bent off of true. "This was a bit more
difficult than I was used to, but I enjoy a challenge."

I nodded my head, watching as he pulled out a clipboard with
a sheet of paper on it. I was about to turn to Oria to ask
for my reading glasses, but she already had them out for me.

"Thank you," I told her, giving her a short kiss as I took
the glasses from her and put them on. I took the clipboard
and read it, turning it just slightly so that my wife
couldn't see what was on it.

Taking the pen that was attached to the clipboard, I signed
my name on the bottom of the page then handed it back to the
rabbit.

He looked it over, and then nodded his head. "That takes
care of that," he said, then turned the box to face me.

I wrapped my arm around Oriana and pulled her closer to my
side, and then reached out and opened the box.

She let out a gasp of surprise when she saw what was lying
on the crushed velvet inside. The first, and largest item,
was a new marriage bracelet for myself, my first one having
been lost with the pendent. It had been carefully made to
match exactly what I had before, and even had new blood
stones made for myself, Oria and Rhea.

Resting next to them was a pair of small rings. One was a
simple golden band with a single red stone mounted smoothly
into it. The second ring was made of twisted bands of gold
and silver, with a single red stone mounted at the center.

Oria picked up the band, ignoring the rings for the moment.
"This is very pretty," she said as she took my right paw.
She slid it over my wrist until it took its familiar place
on my arm.

"I waited too long to get it," I told her with a smile.

She said nothing, and watched me as I picked up the pair of
rings.

"Now, these are also special," I told her, "When I realized
that I also lost my engagement ring, I decided to get us
proper wedding rings. This is for you," I said holding up
the more ornate of the rings.

She blushed a bit as I took her paw and slid the ring onto
her finger, next to her engagement ring.

"Thank you," she said with a deep blush.

"It's my blood stone, love," I told her as I gave her a
kiss.

Oria smiled and took the other ring from my paw. "Then this
must be my blood stone, for your finger," she said.

"Of course," I told her.

She took my paw, and put the ring on my finger. It was a bit
loose, but it had been made for my male form. It would stay
on me as I currently was, but would be a perfect fit when I
finally found a way to turn back.

I took her in my arms and gave her a firm kiss. "I love
you," I told her.

"I love you too," she replied as she hugged me back. For
that moment I was able to forget everything that had
happened before and just focus on her, on my wife. Nothing
could take that away from me.

-----

This story is copyright 2005 by Fox Cutter. Hardcopy
reprints limited to one per person, all other rights
reserved. This story may not be distributed for a fee except
by permission of the author, and this copyright notice may
not be removed.